I miss her so much... | anndei's Blog

Next time. Next time I see her won't be the same. When I attack her this time with a hug she won't pull away. I won't let her. I won't let go. Not again. It's killing me that I was there. Right beside her. Holding her hand. Sleeping against her. Yet I left. Sure I didn't want to but... I don't feel I put up enough of a fight. I could have found a way to be there longer. To be by her side. I cryed the night after. when I was alone again. With only the thought of her being right beside me the night before. How could I have let it go? It was so hard to let her go. So hard to visualize myself leaving where she was. I was dieing. I'm only afraid that when we can touch again, I'll cry again. Just remembering the nights that I had to deal with sleeping by myself. Wrapping myself up in my blankets just trying to feel the same loving and caring touch that only she can provide. It doesn't work. My blankets are cold and lifeless. No matter how tightly I wrap myself in their folds they're just as cold and lifeless as before I was in them. I crave her touch. It's the only thing that is enough to cure this lonelyness. I'm so lost without her. My time with her replays through my head. time and time again. It only makes me miss her more. By telling myself to try and focus on something other than her...I trip. Everything turns back to her. My obsession. My love and my life. She keeps me moving. Only in hope that tomorrow I'll be back in her arms.